June is a mere two days away. In terms of finances, I had an unexpected vet visit after taking my dog to a friend’s house. Sparing unnecessary details she had a stomach issue and needed some medication to help address it. Her eye inflammation thing also came back so they had to do a test for that. $243 later. It’s like if I don’t constantly watch what she’s eating she will eat whatever she possibly can…

In terms of quality of life… My current approach is to behave like I’m taking myself out on a date. Even though I am very much single. I would see acquaintances of mine go on trips together, or even have parties without me or even mentioning an invite. If that’s how it’s going to be, why wait for them at all. Do my own shit with people I like spending time with, or do it alone.

I was in a bit of a dark place earlier in the month. The shooting at a supermarket in Buffalo, NY. Then the tragedy in Uvalde TX at an elementary school. One of my friends is from the area and he’s wanting to do some type of charity for the victim’s families. More recently there was a shooting 3 miles from me at an apartment complex where 2 people were dead and one injured. Late last year the 23 yo son of a lady I worked with was hanging with the wrong crowd and someone shot at the group through the garage and he was shot and killed.

The gun violence in America is out of control, the leaders in states like Texas are making it easier to get guns. I think our governor was supposed to be show up for an NRA meeting just a few days after.. On top of that, If you’re a minority, you’re at a much higher risk of being pulled over and shot by a police officer or being subjected to other types of police brutality. Then I thought about the church shootings, and Pulse nightclub… It’s so easy to go down that rabbit hole. I honestly had to take a break from the news, it’s so damn depressing. It triggered anger, anxiety, helplessness, and PTSD all at once. I couldn’t focus on my daily routine. I’m doing better now, but it wasn’t easy to try and pivot.

One group I played on a sports team with this season. The last 3 games we had to forfeit due to a lack of players. When we did play morale was low because we never won any games, no one would show up for practice. Then I’d see the captain and a few players get together to play a different sport just a few days later (after a supposed injury) and talk about how amazing it was. Kinda rubbed me the wrong way. Plus a few other things I’ll leave out on here. Moral of the story is sometimes it’s better to coordinate with strangers vs people you know who are sketchy.

Beside that, last week Monday was 18 years since my father passed away, later in the week was my mom’s birthday, and mom / stepdad’s 17 year anniversary was just a few days later. I haven’t been back home since 2018 and still feel bad about that, especially when I see people who see their family every weekend or once a month. New York is such an expensive state to live in, I don’t think I could easily make the numbers work and aggressively contribute to retirement even on my current salary.

I also found out that my boss is leaving whom I’ve worked with on and off going back to 2013. Kind of not sure what the future holds. I’m in good standing with my other boss and overall, just a big adjustment in management styles. They’re looking to backfill his position but who knows how long that will take…

Aside from that let’s talk about what’s currently going on with finances. The market has been all over the place.

	5/30/22	4/30/22	Difference	% Change
401K	$152,176	$149,369	$2,807	+1.9%
Roth IRA	$20,856	$20,231	$625	+3.1%
M1 Acct	$5,239	$5,070	$170	+3.3%
Crypto	$0	$1,236	-$1,236	-100%
Buffer Fund	$2,050	$1,250	$800	+64%
HSA	$2,292	$1,932	$360	+18.6%
Total	$182,613	$179,087	$3,526	+2%

I completely sold all of my crypto. I thought I would be a HODLer but didn’t feel lke losing the last $900 in my portfolio. I think I lost close to 60% of what I invested, a couple of days before LUNA crashed (I didn’t own any). Everything I held just kept dropping and dropping, and dropping some more. It was an experiment, there was a time when I planned to invest significantly more but didn’t have the appetite for it. In hindsight that was a smart decision. I’ll get a tax benefit come year end as a capital loss. The above gain is a little bit deceiving since I have been contributing close to $2,600/mo in my investments including matching. Compared to June 2021 I was at $151k, so still up roughly 21% up

My HSA finally hit the $2k mark meaning everything above is also now going into and S&P 500 index fund. It’s a milestone I’m hitting for the first time ever so that’s a good thing. It doesn’t seem like that long ago where I didn’t even have enough extra money to put into an HSA.

This memorial day I went on a little retreat to a park in Little Elm. Nice break from sitting in the apartment staring at screens all day. I didn’t get in the water but I walked on the boardwalk and through the nature trail. Even when there are some bad times, it’s important to resync, be present and focus on ourselves / a few close people. The weight of the world’s problems shouldn’t fall on me.

Thinking about splurging on a few things. Yesterday I dropped about $220 on clothes and a pair of shoes at Nordstrom Rack. The shoes they replaced I bought in 2019 and threw out because the foam was coming out of the heel. Thinking about getting the fancy 5k Apple Studio Display, there’s nothing equivalent on the market but it’s also missing some features I want. Also these gas prices have me thinking about something more fuel efficient. 23mpg with 4.70/gallon premium.. 10k miles a year, that’s a little over $2k for just gas. In 5 years assuming prices are the same that’s $10k assuming gas prices don’t go up even higher. By then the car will be 11 years old and resale will be pretty low compared to the $20k I can get today. Decisions….

I’m thankful for what I do have even if it’s not quite the way I want it to be yet. I’ll be working again in less than 9 hours. I aim to be an efficient problem solver, it can be hit or miss. Ok that’s where I’m at now. Sometimes it feels like no progress when I look at just the numbers but I’m buying ownership of companies at a discount.

Trying to avoid the 40-life crisis, but I’m reading stories of people in their 40s / 50s and thinking yeah I’m going to try to do better. I’m going to have some money in retirement, I’m not going to rack up unnecessary debt, I’m not going to wait until I’m old to enjoy travelling. I’m going to find love. I’m not going to neglect my health or let regrets and fear hold me back. I’m not going to buy a mcmansion and buy things to impress people I don’t even talk to. These are just thoughts.. Ok bed time.