Hard to believe I’ve been chipping at this debt and blogging about it for 7 months already. I’ve had numerous hurdles along the way and if the past is any indicator there will be plenty more to come. Lots of events that I’m processing.  First up it’s Halloween, a time I typically have spent celebrating with friends doing something outside the house and exciting. In NY it’s also known as a day you hope your car / house doesn’t get vandalized by some kid with nothing else better to do.

Speaking of NY, the worst hurricane in years hit just a few days ago. Parents and friends still don’t have power last I checked. Trees down left and right, supplied dwindling. Estimated $20b in damage across the eastern seaboard, not to mention the lives lost. I also found out someone I trained with at my company briefly passed away not even a month after we met. He was a nice guy with a good sense of humor. On the surface he looked very confident, dressed to impress, full of energy.

Cash: 518
Credit Card Debt: 0
Student Loan: 42,521.04  @ 4.25%

Started putting aside money each week for the loan. My income isn’t high enough to support the basics and still have any kind of emergency fund. I still feel poor, even doing the minimum I still have almost no money left after the end of each 2 week period. Haven’t made any large ticket items other than the stupidity that ensued on my NY trip. I honestly feel one mis-step away from financial ruin yet doing what I can to keep it all together.

Not going to dwell on this, but an explanation would suffice… After multiple interviews, I didn’t get the job on account of a technicality that I am voluntarily not going into too much detail about as it could have a material impact on future events.

In this new position, I could’ve increased my income significantly, but after bending over backwards, letting this process go on for 5 weeks and going through more interviews than I ever have at any company before it just didn’t work out. Left with a slightly sour taste in my mouth because they didn’t tell me about this issue when I started the process, but everything will work out in the end.

At the beginning of this process I promised myself I wouldn’t get emotionally involved. This is the 2nd time I was *almost* hired somewhere in the last year earning a much higher salary. After 3 interviews, knowing two managers who worked there and having all the interviewers tell me they liked me I still had no offer. I didn’t make the cut for the round of people being hired and a different recruiter e-mailed me almost a full 2 months after my interview to see if I was still interested. So I took the job at the company that went under 6 weeks later.

What I’ve realized is it isn’t just about the immediate earnings, but the long term. I still want to do something I have intense passion for, has decent earnings potential and wouldn’t mind doing for hours on end. Does such a role exist? I’m still figuring out an answer to this question.

It’s quite easy over the course of one’s life to become complacent, to expect everything to stay the same, day-in, day-out. Most of us work the usual 8 hr shift, come home, go out to dinner, watch a show and before we know it, time to go to bed and repeat the cycle all over again. 

Starting here and now, October 12, 2012 I am making a commitment to do something different. To challenge myself each day just a little more and learn to experience life more. Each week I am:

• Do one activity outside the home with my partner that captures the uniqueness of the area we reside. The Dallas Fort Worth area really has a lot to offer and I think we’re only experiencing 1/10^th of it. The plus side is that it will keep the relationship more interesting as there have been stale moments.

• More actively planning. The procrastination takes my stress from 3/10 to a 9/10 for no reason. 15 minutes can save me an hours worth of aggrivation.

• Remembering to sleep. Jekyll and Hyde. Without sleep my natural desire to do good in the world is nonexistent and basic tasks become huge projects as a result.

Keeping the list short now as part of the K.I.S.S. approach to problem resolution.

Did something really stupid yesterday. I misestimated the amount of time it would take me to leave work, come home, finish packing, feed the cars, scoop the cat litter by a whole 2 minutes. Got to the American Airlines checkin gate and was told I couldn’t check in because I was past the 40 minutes minimum needed. 

At the front desk I was told there were no later flights to LaGuardia and would have to pay $75 to change my flight over to Newark and pay a $25 fee for my carry-on she waived. I took an AirTran from Newark International Airport to Newark Penn Station. I thought that was the same as NY Penn Station, just on the Amtrack / NJ side of the terminal. I was mistaken. I was on the other side of the Hudson. Looked at my map and had a twilight zone omg-type moment. So on top of the $75 to change my flight, I paid the cab driver ($65 plus tip, which I gladly paid since Newark at night makes Manhattan look like a cakewalk) $80 to take me to the hotel on W 26th Street. 

As of now, I’ve decided not to pay for a car rental. That would’ve run me over $200 once taxes were accounted for. I don’t value driving around town that much. Worse case my parents let me drive their vehicle, or I hitch rides from some friends. This is going to be a several hundred dollar trip, not a thousand… 🙂

Still no update on the job front. Been going through so many hoops, it’s been a bit draining but I still am keeping my eye on the prize. How many interviews must I partake in before I receive an offer? Already five down and it looks like another 2 or 3 to go. This threw off my whole rhythm and caused me to be late. 

My credit cards are still manageable even with recent purchases. Have money in the bank, but I’m avoiding paying interest by only by two days… I’m using my Citibank Thank You card for points / buyer protection but paying it off each month. The 1% offered by my Credit Union when I make over 10 point of sale purchases is really peanuts since my balance will be low. I could do both but even if I had 10k in the bank that’s only 100/yr. Seriously not worth it.

Either it’s going to happen or it’s not going to happen. Should find out about the position I’ve interviewed for sometime over the next 24 hours or by Monday if a completely unexpected event occurs.

Gave it a lot of thought and…. I’m declining Income Based Repayment for 2013. It saved my ass in 2011 and 2012, but I honestly don’t consider it a need for the new year. If things pan out the way I’m hoping, $6000 year at the minimum will be completely doable. That’s $125 a week. Even on my current salary without shuffling extra money toward paying the principle I can manage that. If there was no IBR I would’ve settled in a job I probably hated and payed poorly to avoid defaulting on my loans. Or sell my car valued around 12k right now to cover costs. Both of which would only be a temporary solution to the problem.

I am sick of student loans and Sallie Mae in general. Other than a mortgage, I never ever want to ever have any debt that is more than my annual income.

Taking a moment to reflect. Graduated high school in 2001, at the time my earnings were around a whopping $6.00 an hour. Today I make more than double that, for work I would consider less repetitive and more analytical in nature. For me, there has been value in a college degree. Truth remains on how much value, but still a noticeable difference over many of my counterparts who do not know a specific trade.

I’m no saint, but it’s interesting to see where people have ended up over the years. Some dropped out of college, others are just finishing up their Associates degree 9 years later than I. Today I came across a news story about a girl some of my peers were trying to set me up with. She was arrested on charges of petty larceny. The second time it’s happened in the last year. I never really trusted the girl at the time, so my intuition turned out to be right.

My views on money were much different in high school than today. I realize the value of a dollar, but I also know that I don’t want to be a slave to money. It’s one thing to work hard and another to be obsessed to the point where nothing else matters. Friendships, relationships, health. I idolized the men on Wall Street for being so talented at what they did, essentially building an empire from nothing. Life’s experiences have shown me there’s much more than having all those expensive material items.  I don’t have to lie to people to make a buck, can go home with a clear conscience each night and don’t work 100-110 hours a week like some of the people at Goldman. A friend’s sister works there, pulls a 6 figure income but is it really worth it? Literally no life outside of work, maybe one free day a week to do anything remotely sociable.

In 2001 I really needed to work on my self esteem. Had a vision in my mind that going to college would open doors and allow me to comfortably live on my own two feet. I thought I could somehow make it work with a girl if I tried hard enough. Suze Orman always talks about speaking in your truth and I always felt like doing that was a lie. It’s great I’m in a relationship with a man I can be completely open with about my money and my life. I know a lot of couples hide things or act out of fear and it really takes a toll on them after a while

Life is too short for that crap. If you have 40k in debt, don’t hold it all inside. It eats you up after a while to hold onto that burden on your shoulders. 10 years ago I was not mature enough to make many of the decisions I am consciously making now. Intellectually I could understand the reasons for doing things, but I lacked the experience that comes with age and the willpower to make some of the harder decisions. I don’t live in a bubble, but I also am not seeking constant approval from people I don’t even care about in the first place (keep up with the Joneses). In fact if anything I’m put off by those who behave as though they are superior just because they spend more money on trips, cars, dinners, etc.

I bought a grill recently from Home Depot. The grill itself was 199, then the propane was around 40, then we needed a cover for the grill.  I had a $25 gift card from our realtor months ago that I never used. Altogether it came to around $250. My bf got the grilling accessories.

Mosquitoes aside, I am really enjoying the grilling process. I find it easier to cook than in the oven. The food generally has more flavor too. We will be grilling on average once or twice a week. The meals we make are cheaper than eating out and much healthier too from a caloric perspective.

Did I really want to drop $250 on a grill?  No, but I also wanted to make my bf happy and it’s something he has wanted for quite some time. I gain enjoyment from it and our friends do too. Also we are both meticulous about making things last and I would expect 3 years out of this easily.

On the health front, i have regularly been attending my local Gold’s gym and watching my overall caloric intake. Keeping my alcohol consumption to a minimum. No more than 2 drinks in a night if I can avoid it. If not, drinking lite beers. I really think I’ve found some sense of balance without doing any crazy diets. Today I had a crazy intense workout for me, lifting weights and spending an hr on the treadmill. Thought about so many things, my grandfather’s triple bypass 2 weeks ago, my 2nd grandmother’s passing in July, the anxiousness of wondering if my job offer will go through. No one said the necessary steps in life were always going to be the easy ones.

I try to live in the present each day, it helps me get through a lot of obstacles in my way. I also read articles written by others who have dealt with similar issues. One video you should watch is

TEDxEastsidePrep – Scott Young – Can you get an MIT education for $2,000?

Scott just finished his MIT education in a year and documented it in a series of videos. Here is the grand finale video. Definitely inspiring, especially to me as a business major who has always been interested in computer science.

I also just broke 700 views on my site. Some might be bots, or people who have no interest in getting out of debt, but it is inspiring to know so many people have taken time to read parts of my story. It’s not the most elegant and I clearly wasn’t born with the silver spoon in my mouth, but one thing is for sure… My motivation level is high and  this story is uniquely my own.

Got my iPhone 5 earlier this week. I’m totally loving it, didn’t think I would notice the overall responsiveness of the user interface but I do. Even playing simple games like Word With Friends or loading up e-mail.  The 5 second lag or so I used to experience is completely gone.

I also experimented with the talking maps feature for the first time. It really isn’t as bad as everyone makes it out to be.  Apple’s CEO did make a public apology about this oversight by a company with such a high attention to detail.

The other weekend, I was at a bar with some friends and one of them accidentally knocked my phone out of my hand and the screen cracked. He’s a nice guy and I was not holding the phone particularly well, plus my case was pretty crappy so I agreed we should split the bill. So far he gave me 3/4 of the $40 owed. I could be a dick about it, but why blow something simple out of proportion right?

I sold my iPhone 4 16gb AT&T model on eBay for $225 to a guy in Austin. He paid me less than 12 hours after I listed the item for sale and I dropped the item off at FedEx the same day. This amount is far more than the $160 or so I had expected to get. So money out, money in. Slight net loss after the activation fee, cases I bought and the connection adapter but worth it.

Had some good news on the work front, but being loose on the details until I have been given and accepted an offer. Super excited about the opportunity though. If it happens I can pay my debt off in 2 years as opposed to 3 while still living comfortably and paying half the mortgage.

Where oh where do I start. I don’t smoke or use drugs, never spoked weed. Considered it at one point, but I was always super paranoid and didn’t see the benefit. Took a hit at a hookah joint and my lungs tightened up immediately.

One of my coworkers from about 10 years back has been fighting cancer and was recently moved to hospice care. I was crying and sent her a final heartfelt goodbye message. I am a realist and I’m not sure she will be alive during my visit to New York next month. I really am not fully sure what the future holds but each experience reminds me to treasure every moment.

My grandfather had open-heart surgery this week to eliminate one of the blockages in a valve and he is currently in a state of recovery. He has not been in good health for quite some time now, but keeps on fighting. My great aunt is also battling cancer and gets a blood transfusion every week or other week. I really don’t know the cause-and-effect, but one theme for all is they all smoke cigarettes at some point in their lives and for a decent period of time.

Social Security age is currently 67 years of age for those born 1959 and later. If the system still exists when I am of age I highly doubt, I’m sure the full retirement age be pushed up to 70 at the minimum. Those depending on the government to look after them are in for a rude awakening. My father was living on SSI for most of my life while he was alive. In cases such as his, it was very difficult to make enough income to be able to support themselves without government assistance. I see some can become dependent on that income over time and lose the desire to work.

Psychologically I was a bit confused every month seeing a check with both my father’s name as custodian and my name on it from the federal government since my father wasn’t working. I loved my father immensely, but his financial situation was dire for 20 years if not longer. It all stemmed from him dropping out of high school and getting a GED to help support his siblings as a teenager. I think my parents genuinely loved each other for quite sometime, then years of hardship and lack of a financial plan is what lead to divorce. My mom is the most patient, loving person I know. I really don’t know how she was able to put up with it for all those years.

I know this post is all over the place but everyday is a reminder that life isn’t all getting out of debt or buying things that get a person into debt. It’s about using some of that money to enjoying life while at the same time be strategic.