Feeling Like a Weirdo?

I typed this up at 12:30 AM on a Monday night in a dark room as to cut back the blue light so have mercy 😛
Anyone else on this journey feel like a bit of a weirdo? Hear me out…
1 – We live in largely a consumption based society, only recently have many Americans started to really question what is a luxury vs what is essential.
2 – There are lots of people there in the current economy who are literally struggling, unable to pay their rent, mortgage, student loans, car payments, etc.
3 – People are looking toward their state and federal governments to give them a helping hand.

I honestly don’t think my situation is that much better than that of my peers. I’m still an employee, working for a large corporation. If people don’t buy the products we sell, I don’t have a job. On paper I’m a minority, from a middle class suburb, with 3 non-STEM college degrees. I was born in and still live in the United States. In 1999 I started with $5.15/hour, rode my mountain bike or walked to work on days my parents couldn’t give me a ride, and I didn’t break the $50k/yr barrier until a full 14 years after getting my first job. I don’t yet earn a six figure salary, nor am I an engineer.

Am I still priviledged? Perhaps. Being an American I can very easily buy equitities in some of the largest companies in the world, in a very well regulated way, with near zero brokerage fees. My currency of choice is still the world’s reserve currency, and I can invest money in a bank account without fears of the government taking it away from me overnight. I have not had to live through civil wars or periods of gross inflation or deflation. I am living through what I skeptically hope will be a huge step forward through the BLM movement.

I still have no debt. Debt to me is repulsive in a way unless it’s to acquire an asset that produces a steady steam of income or is highly likely to appreciate over time. Some of my ancestors were brought to this country centuries ago as slaves. Their labor was used to cultivate the land, produce resources, build roads, buildings, and make an entire class of people wealthy. They longed for freedom from their opressors and a system that was not designed for them but against them at every level – education, housing and employment discrimination. Then as a gay man… Up until only a few years ago it was completely legal to fire or not hire me to begin with in many parts of this country on the basis of my sexual orientation….I was lucky enough to be born at a time and living in places where I was not impacted. My company is literally one of most LGBT friendly I’ve had the pleasure of working for.

So yes I’m priviledged. I’m lucky but it’s also been a struggle. I’m on the road to a $100,000 investment portfolio before 2021. In 2012 I was at -$45,099.65 and sold my retirement account to cover my expenses from having no job. It scares me that I will have to return back to the “dark ages”. My position at my previous company was eliminated last week in another round of layoffs. An acquaintance of mine who also worked there got a severence package when his position was terminated. I’m thankful to have built up my career while there but also left before my shelf life expired.

It feels weird to be working from home. Since Covid-19 closures started in March happened I no longer have a $545/mo car payment, $80/mo in tolls, $140/mo in gasoline bills, or $85 in parking garage fees. That’s $850/mo of free cash flow per month. I also didn’t move to a $400/mo more expensive apartment closer to the fancier uptown/downtown area. A stimulus check would be nice, but I’m not starving without it.
These are unprecedented times for me. I have so many options. I’m still a long ways from even lean FIRE. My LeanFIRE number is about $1MM. Only 10% there but with my current monthly contribution levels and a 6.5% return rate I’ll be there in 18 years. Who knows though, maybe a $1MM won’t be what it used to be. I’ve been weird all my life, even writing my cash amounts from allowances in an envelope and tracking things in a spreadsheet. Yes more spreadsheets. I’m gonna whip up a few for my next posts. Remember for every success story there is someone who started out with nothing. Also stay the fuck away from fake gurus. Your money is better off in an index fund. 😛

Ok it’s time for bed now. Getting senile. Thanks for reading. Stay strong, be safe. We are all in this together.

July – July will be over soon and with it comes the reminder that we are already a month through summer. What a hot summer it has been. The brutal Texas sun shining down on me, giving me sunburn after only 2 hours of exposure. As intense as it is, I also love things this time of year. I go biking, walking, pool, take beautiful pictures of nature. Yesterday I grabbed a beer with a friend, only my 2nd time at a sit down place since March.

I did have the unfortunate mishap of riding over a strip of metal near White Rock Lake. I started hearing a loud hissing noise coming from my front tire. Within a minute or so it was completely flat. Luckily the nearest bike shop was only a 2 mile walk from where I was at. Wasn’t expecting an $87 repair bill, but they fixed it on the spot and gave me a more durable tire than what I had. I’m tempted to order an extra one online and just keep as a backup in case this happens again.

So let’s talk finances for a bit…

401k: $81,450.93
Roth IRA: $4954.67
HSA: $661.87
M1: $485.98
July 2020 Total Retirement: $87,553.45
(up $5,889 or 7.2% from last month, up $29,247.65 or 50%! from July 2019, up $75,760 or 736% from just 5 years ago.)

iPhone 11 Pro : $786.40
Credit Card: $420.00
Total Debt: $1,206.40
(my debt a year ago was $11,896.36!)

I will likely be upgrading to the iPhone 12 Pro when it comes out as part of the Apple upgrade program. Credit card will be paid off Friday when I get paid, don’t want to pull from my emergency fund to cover. Mostly food, had cable / cell phone bills hit and other miscellaneous items. So still basically debt free. 😀

I did make a small shift in my 401k investments. Sold my us treasury bonds and am now 100% in equities. Prior to that I was an a 95/5 split The ROI on Investing isn’t sexy, sometimes it feels like you’re going nowhere. Then you look back a year later and think damn I’m not doing so bad after all.

Stay happy, healthy, and safe out there! Remember comparison is the thief of joy, just be the best version of you possible.

In mere weeks I will be turning the ripe young ish age of 37. Some realization I’ve come to terms with:

• The quarter century crisis is far, far in the rear few mirror. Anyone over 30 knows the nagging voice in your head that says these are things I must do by 30 or I will end up an absolute failure of a person.
• Most of my biggest fears in life have come and gone. In a word, ‘perspective’. A lot of my fears stemmed around people who later I realized either didn’t care about me nearly as much as I thought they would. Or a unhealthy mismatch between living a lie and being an openly gay man. I came out 16 years ago,
• Nothing compares to my general skepticism of politics both left and right is a filter for which I view any single word uttered by a politician. The older you get, the more the bullshit meter goes up.
• I’m no longer the new and upcoming generation. Millennials aren’t a lost cause yet, but some have dug theirselves so deeply into a hole, hoping the government bails them out or provides UBI, etc. is their best shot.
• My body is not necessarily able to catch up with my mind. I think of being able to accomplish superhuman or computational type feats similar to an android. I can’t just load a program into my brain and pick things up like that. It all takes time and energy. My brain after 8 hours of work, a few hour of downtime, and 1-2 hours of exercise just isn’t able to easily pick up complex tasks.
• It’s okay to be “normal”-ish. Not everyone is capable or would excel at becoming a multi-millionaire. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to try out different revenue streams, and stay on top of all my investments.
• It’s not over until it’s over – See guys like David Goggins and Graham Stephan others who stayed driven and beat the odds. It’s a reminder that great things are possible if steady actions are taken. Everything else is a waste of time beyond some basic research and planning if you ask me. It’s easy to fall into a self help trap, thinking you’re achieving huge accomplishments when really the opposite is true.

I am thankful to earn a middle class salary, which is more than a lot of other people in America can say right now. My health is mostly good, I can walk on two feet, have a paid off car, no consumer debt, and can aggressively invest. I don’t have insomnia thinking about how to pay off insurmountable levels of debt. Also it looks like the pay cut I took a few months back will be reversed soon, so that’s always a good thing. I do want to branch out and live life at a higher level once all this COVID mess is over.

Last but not least I’m a fighter. It’s in my DNA. Lots of people in my family have been faced with obstacles far greater than mine. Almost bedtime again, apologies if there are a bunch of grammatical errors. I’ll end it with this….

What have you learned as you got older that has had a profound impact on how you see the world, relate to people, or handle things from day-to-day?

It’s just after midnight on Monday July 20, 2020… I really wasn’t going to write anything about my experiences over the last few months since COVID turned many of our lives upside down. On the other hand I don’t really feel like I have many friends around to really talk to. I’ve been dealing with some difficult items outside of my professional life.

Mostly recently I was on vacation all of last week. Yes it was a paid vacation, more of a use it or lose it scenario. I couldn’t travel to New York due to the self-quarantine requirements and not wanting to get caught up in any of that mess. I had a full week of vacation  in June and stayed home due to the protesting and rioting that was happening with basically every city within driving distance of Dallas.

From a responsibility standpoint I feel like I have been doing the right thing. It does sting a bit when I see others who are socializing way more then I am to begin or with their significant others are going to places like Cabo, Puerto Vallarta, or Aruba. I’m happy for them but also wonder in the back of my mind why not me… I had that time, I could easily pay off such a trip in under a month. I also would really hate to go on such a trip by myself.

Dating hasn’t been great either. In March I was chatting with someone for over a month who lives about 1600 miles away and was supposed to visit. That never happened. Then in mid-May I met someone I was starting to have feelings for but only saw a total of once and chatted with for weeks. He’s with his family a few hours drive away even though he lives only 30 min from now. I haven’t seen him since even though he’s always super friendly and accessible  via text message. More recently talked about potentially moving to the east coast for a job opportunity.

Fast forward to today… I matched with someone on Facebook dating, but then saw his profile on one of the apps and his profile said he’s hosting guys to come by his place and follow reckless behavior… So unmatch. Before that I was supposed to go to hang out by the pool with a potential new friend. We texted for a good two hours back and forth, we joked about the swim trunks I would be wearing. Then he flaked out. This wasn’t really the first time either, we had chatted back in 2015. He wasn’t looking to date anyone and kind of disappeared then too. I message people I know and get one words answers back if that. I then start to question why I should bother…

I wonder when things will return back to normal again. My social life was almost non-existent before, now I wonder if people around here still consider me a friend. It feels a bit like I’ve disappeared and simply don’t rank anymore. I’m trying really hard not to sound bitter and jaded, it’s just been a difficult time for me. I should sound more grateful that I’m in good health and not hooked up to a ventilator or struggling with labored breathing / blood clots / other related health issues somewhere. I’ve read too many stories about people who were in fairly normal health, then they went went out to an event once without a mask on and got infected…

One of my closer friends who lives out of state has said maybe I’ve simply exhausted the dating pool here. Things also slow down with age. The ideal guys in my age range and older get in relationships, partnered, or married. Or they are open and looking but there is no possibility of things going anywhere. The younger ones are immature or just looking for a sugar daddy.

In the meantime since I’m focused more on solution vs the problems. I am going to keep trying to stay busy, working on my skills, staying open to the idea of potentially meeting new people, but putting a cap on exactly how much time I spend on apps to meet people. Also taking myself out on a socially-distanced date at least once a week. I do want to have a close circle of friends again and feel loved by another guy romantically who doesn’t just want to hookup. It’s been close to 6 years since someone said I love you to me in that way and it seemed to actually mean something. I guess we all have our own set of issues though. Money, early retirement, etc. are significant but it all feels empty when you are 95-100% by yourself all the time. Maybe I’m overly dramatic. Just want to fix it and move on.

Thanks for reading if you got this far. I know it’s whiny, unpolished, not really what the blog is about. I should go to bed now. ❤

I’m learning quite a bit more about how I operate. I’ve learned I need a creative outlet in order to feel like things are in balance. I also feel that I am still relatively young and you can teach an old dog new tricks.

So the conclusion I’ve made is to re-create the YouTube channel I deleted proximately two months ago, providing monthly updates on my portfolio instead of weekly or mid weekly, and having it be a lot more personable than it was before.

In the grand scheme of things this is very much an experiment, who knows what the end decision will be. I want to be authentic, educated, non-scammy and truly helpful to the people who decide to view my content. I also I’m thinking of doing a channel completely unrelated to the world of personal finance or health, maybe focused more on gaming, but we’ll see if those plans pan out. Debt Free Alpha channel.

June – What a month. I’m a mixed Black gay man from New York living in Texas. I had written a super long post but decided to leave it in the draft folder as it doesn’t tie into the purpose of this blog. Short answer – systemic racism is still a problem in america, Black people had it difficult in this country for centuries, it’s great to see whites, corporations, organizations all rallying together to bring about progress, consider all options on the table to end police brutality, and encourage equality under the law. In the dawn of everyone having a recording device, many of these injustices are now being brought to light. Social struggles lead to economic struggles which if not corrected leads to generational poverty. So it’s all connected.

I also believe individuals play a role in determining their fate. Just because someone else has the same skin tone or upbringing as me doesn’t mean I need to take responsibility for their poor decisions and the reverse holds true. I don’t expect the government to bail me out unless it’s for a short period of time while I get back on my feet.

In a capitalistic society it’s challenging to force equality. On one hand you should hire based on merit / would they be a good fit. On the other many people from disadvantaged backgrounds may have had a lot more obstacles to face, be the only minority on the whole team, and one could argue why should they get special treatment when everyone is working their ass off to get ahead. No simple answer here but these steps are definitely an improvement over where we were even 3 months ago.

Onto finances….

401k: $76,223.30
Roth IRA: $4,536.63
HSA: $561.65
M1: $342.78
June 2020 Total Retirement: $81,664
(up $7,596 or 8.8% from last month)

iPhone 11 Pro : $842.56
Credit Card: $145.90
Total Debt: $988.46

I made a couple of good choices in my M1 taxable stock investing app. Not a lot of money but sheer insanity that the Tesla stock I bought 2 months ago already is up a whopping 66%. Even Amazon up 27%. I know these numbers are insane. When I started this 3rd investment portfolio I decided to just put in some “play money” to see what would happen. It could drop like a rock tomorrow but I’m still putting minimum $25/week in. If the market takes a dip on a particular day I buy more and schedule buys in my pie to happen the following morning. By the time I turn 38, a little over a year from now I hope to have $100k in my portfolio. By 50 I want to have at least $500k and a $1MM by 60.

I made a large dollar ticket purchase during June. I bought a Cannondale CAAD 13 Road Bike for $1800 plus tax, and sold my Fuji Roubaix 1.3 for $600 cash on FaceBook Marketplace. The old bike sold within 3 hours of me buying the new one. My original listing price was $800, then knock it down to $720 and negotiated down again. It had some light wear and tear, probably needed some new tires in a few months. Supply and demand never fails. During the month of June I’ve ridden over 200 miles of it. Yesterday I popped an inner tube and a friend was kind enough to give me a ride. The old bike wasn’t bad but I did pop a few spokes on it. Changed my riding technique a bit and that problem has esssentially gone away. The rims on the new bike are a higher quality and I haven’t had an problems so far. The bike was paid for the last time I got paid.

I haven’t worked with other people in an office since March 13th give or take. Still thankful I have a job when the unemployment levels are so high. I know a lot of others in this country aren’t so lucky. The days really have been flowing together. At times I do get lonely and I haven’t had nearly the amount of interaction with other humans as I should. Still working through the best ways to work through it. My “friends” are often extremely difficult to make any type of plans with. I’d have better luck with a complete stranger… 😀 I won’t let that discourage me though.

What is currently on my mind from a money standpoint?
1 – Does it make more sense to continue going guns blazing with retirement or should I look at Real Estate. A 401k has a lot of pros but also may be the slower path to wealth outside of Covid.
2 – Should I focus on having more fuck you money? I don’t have that much money sitting in a bank account, mostly because of inflation and I’d rather delay paying taxes now to get a break later on. So at least I’m deliberate about not having months and months in an emergency fund. Maybe 3 months and I’d sleep a little easier.
3 – When do I leave Texas? Is there a better place to live? I just renewed my apartment lease for $890/mo. The new complex several miles away I considered was closer to $1435/mo plus a month free, but with a $200 pet deposit, $300 pet fee and $10/mo pet rent. Really not worth it for zero equity.
4 – Will I get another stimulus check? Would be a nice buffer but in no means am I banking on that happening.

Brainstorming other topics that aren’t related to politics. Have a couple of ideas. Be healthy, safe, and have a happy 4th of July weekend!!!

Hey all – It’s been about a month since my last update. Some things have certainly changed!

401k: $69,924.08
Roth IRA: $4,228.39
HSA: $770.42
M1: $144.88
May 2020 Total Retirement: $75,068
(up $5k or 7% from last month)

Car Loan: $0
Car Warranty: $0
iPhone 11 Pro: $898.72 (I’m intentionally not paying it off since I like to upgrade every year)
Credit Card: $302.46
Total Debt: $1,201.18
Total Savings: $2k+

Dipped into my savings to pay my car off last month so steadily trying to build that back up again. My 401k retirement contributions including matching are back up again to over $1700/mo. I’m also contributing $200/mo or $25/wk each to the Roth, Taxable account or more as my income permits. At my current rate I will be at $90k in retirement by the end of the year. Really hoping to break the $100k figure a year from now.

Nothing super exciting to see here, staying the course. Thinking long and hard about my next vacation….

Also my apartment lease is up for renewal. $880/mo plus $10/mo pet rent and roughly $25/mo for garbage disposal / sewer fees. I would like to live in a more lively area that is closer to work. The crime statistics though in the places I’ve considered are horrible! Literally 3x more crime and for an extra $300-$400/mo. Then add a good $500 or so in moving expenses, $300 for a pet deposit. A blogger I follow in the area pays more in taxes and HOA for the 2br condo he’s trying to sell than I pay for rent. How much does location really matter as we move more toward a full or partial work from home situation?

I have two friends who live in a sketchy part of town and there was a shooting last week where one person died. Their apartment was an active crime scene and they were not allowed to go in. There have been a series of incidents that made the news since 2015. I can’t be in a place where I fear for my safety. At the same time I see pictures I took from 5 years ago in this apartment… Feels like I’m not making any progress. Then again maybe not dropping $1400/mo on rent for absolutely zero equity is progress.

So most of this blog, ok almost all of it revolves around me and my life. I do wonder how others are doing on their financial journey. Some of the general questions that come to mind…

1. Are you facing tens of thousands of dollars in student loan debt?
2. Are you one of the lucky Americans who are still fully employed? Have you been recently furloughed? Have you had to take a pay cut?
3. Are you planning a major lifestyle change?
4. What if anything keeps you coming back to my blog?
5. Is there any type of information I could present that you would find beneficial?

After making a series of blog posts from January on, I had to look in the mirror figuratively speaking. Was the content I posted providing value to anyone else? Or was it 100% focused on me? I had less than 10 subscribers even after having posted 24 videos. My tactics for generating more subs was a bit cringe-worthy and didn’t actually work.

If you try something and fail after a few times, there is no shame in starting over provided that is an option.

Will I post content again under a different channel? Possibly. It needs to be quality informational content though. The “hey here’s a net worth type update” videos don’t really offer value or entertainment to others.

Also found some good idea on things your channel must have from Twin Cities Collective. Basically my channel didn’t have a single one of those elements I they recommended every one have. So I’m extremely humbled. Thanks for watching my content if you saw it before. All these videos are still saved in my personal archives.

For those who don’t want to go to another site…
1. Logo?
2. Banner
3. Social Media / Website Links
4. Custom URL
5. Front Page Full of Videos
6. Playlists
7. Videos with Consistent Thumbnails
8. Annotations (I think these were phased out)
9. Subscriber Count
10. About Section

Here’s another one from Search Engine Journal on Elements of a Successful YouTube video.
1. Branded intro footage
2. An attention-grabbing intro
3. Background Music
4. Being Clearly Audible
5. Brevity
6. Customized Experiences
7. Call To Action

Maybe I sound like a broken record here. I’m a firm believe that you can learn from others. You might not experience the exact same results for yourself, but man.. If I knew now what I knew in 2010 I would have made some different choices in life.

For all intents and purposes I’m now essentially Debt Free! I made the final payment of my 2016 Nissan Maxima on April 27, 2020. The original amount financed was $31,107.45 on March 28, 2016. The Maturity fate would have been 5/12/2021. It hasn’t truly hit me yet since I dropped some serious coin on the last payment.

In a funny bit of irony, right after I finished shopping at my local Tom Thumb I noticed a $165k Bently Bentayga SUV parked just two spots away from my newly paid off gray chariot. I did not get to see the owner, but I’m guessing it was an older woman who just wanted to buy some groceries during the pandemic. Heck rich people have to eat too.

• 

Has it hit me yet? Not really. I still need to build my emegency fund back up. There’s still uncertainty about the future of my company. In the event of layoffs I would qualify for the Texas state $521 unemployment maximum and likely the coronavirus $600 extra payout for up to 13 weeks. It still would be a significant reduction especially once you factor in any type of Cobra coverage. Hopefully I won’t have to think about that anytime soon.

My first posting to this blog happened on April 7, 2012 – Ground Zero – My Challenge. I wasn’t even 30 yet, I did happen to have paid off my car at the time which was almost 4 years old at the time. I also still had $45k of student loans to pay off. My income was way lower than it is now. It seemed like an insurmountable obstacle, but I did it. I was inspired by Nomoreharvarddebt.com, MrMoneyMustache, Nathanbw, Double Debt Single Woman and a few others.

While I didn’t link to this blog or my YouTube channel on my social media accounts, I did receive a lot of positive feedback from my peers. It’s a celebration for me, I haven’t been debt free since my first college course in Fall 2001. To put things in perspective I took those loans out right before 9/11/2001. Took me 19 years to get to this point, I’ve made missteps. I spent money maybe I shouldn’t have on things I convinced myself I needed at the time.

What’s Next?
1. Rebuild heavy emergency fund
2. Increase 401k / Roth IRA contributions
3. Stay healthy + lose fat + avoid getting coronavirus
4. Relax more
5. Find a guy to date and fall in love with
6. Grow my hair back… Balding sucks lol

Looking forward to the next new chapter in my life. The last one wasn’t bad but I need a vacation… 😛 Still plan to post here occasionally. Much love.

Happy 4/20 – I don’t smoke, but those two do tend to go a little extreme this time of year.. 😀

My credit card balances hit zero again, across all cards as of 4/10. Just in time for the coronavirus pandemic. It feels quite liberating. No longer do I have the burden of paying near $1000 every two weeks in a rush to get the balance down to zero. I hope to continue having blessings in my life that allow me to pay the credit cards in full before they are due.

I know a few people with credit card balances in excess of $10k. For me I know I sometimes have a spending problem. Usually I’ll save money on my purchases but at the same time spending say $2800 on a computer, $1k+ on a phone, $2-300 on clothes every season, eating and dining out, it all adds up. My advice if you still have a job is to cut back your spending, put some extra cash aside and look at ways to generate more income.

On to an April 2020 financial update…
401k: $65,425.33
Roth IRA: $3921.22
HSA: $655.38
Total Retirement: $70,001.93

Car Loan: $3,761.16
Car Warranty: $0
iPhone 11 Pro: $954.88
Credit Card: $0
Total Debt: $4,716.04

Savings:
Short and Long-Term: $3,423

There is a lot of uncertainty right now in my world. Not sure about the future of a lot of things including my income. I still have a job, but many people I know have either been layed off, partially furloughed, or put on full furlough. I am going to keep grinding away in hopes that my postition stays secure along with my income. I did take a pay cut but nothing that would really impact my life all that much.

This $1200 stimulus check that everyone has been talking about it sitting right in my account. It brought my emergency fund up from $195 literally overnight. There are talks about an additional stimulus of $2,000/mo for most Americans over the age of 16.

Also another law proposed that would make it so renters wouldn’t have to pay rent for several consecutive months via a FEMA emergency declaration It sounds great on paper but also could lead to some pretty rapid inflation. Not to mention the national debt that we still aren’t paying off anytime soon. I’m sort of at a point if the government is giving out money or allowing us to pay it forward, why not do what everyone else is doing.

I really hope you my viewers are happy and healthy. Just today I found out one of my mom’s old bosses recently passed away from covid-19 related complications. The woman in question was in New York and she may have worked with the elderly but I don’t know all the details. I’ve heard story after story of people who came down with coronavirus, many didnt’ make it.

Keeping myself upbeat these times has been a struggle. I keep trying to remember certain things are outside of my control and many of them are temporary. I’m still upright, making progress toward my goals, and I’ve gone through way more challenging times in life.