I started seeing a therapist to address issues I’ve been having with Social Anxiety and some depression.
She charged $125 for our first visit, each one thereafter is $100. A little expensive yes but I think it’s worth it. I was in denial for the longest time.
What I haven’t mentioned on this blog is that I’ve spend over a year looking for friends online and the past 3 trying to make friends in general (with mixed luck).

Labor day weekend was particularly hard for me. One part because my mouth has been hurting and two because I felt such an intense feeling of loneliness. I laid in bed most of the day yesterday, only going out to walk the dog. On social media I saw friends post pictures having fun on the water, at barbecues, etc. I was wallowing in misery inside the house wishing someone would just ask me to do anything.

Today was much better though. Got a decent amount of sleep. Actually took a lunch break at work. Immediately after work I walked / sprinted 3.67 miles for an hour at a pace of 16:21 min/mi. Then I went shopping at Tom Thumb. Boyfriend made some delish matzo ball soup.

Last week our plumber came and fixed the downstairs shower. $250 later you can actually take a shower in warm water instead of ice cold. Bf wants to redo our bathroom upstairs and to do that we need one functional bathroom. Tomorrow a new handyman is supposed to take a look at some work we need done to the house. Minor work, like fixing doors that don’t close all the way, hanging closet that is dangling from the wall and sliding closet doors that don’t actually slide but instead get stuck and frustrate the hell out of me when all I wanted to do was pick out a pair of pants…

The old handyman I tried to have come by on two different occasions and no followup on his end. On top of that, the work he did to fix our showers didn’t hold up. So money down the drain figuratively speaking. Hopefully the local guy I found online is better.

So I’ve learned a few things about myself the last week:

1. I have to take a break at work. If I don’t, I feel like I’m losing my sanity. Start to tread work and literally feel like a slave to money / the job.
2. Plan things with friends. Things don’t happen with a plan for me. They used to, but not here. Not with early-stage friendships.
3. I don’t like being alone. While I am introverted, the feeling of being by myself really takes a toll after a while. Especially on the weekends. I dreaded the weekends / not going into work for the longest time because of that.
4. I need exercise. Without even maintaining my health, I start to feel down pretty quick.
5. I don’t need to eat meat all the time. Could go 85% vegetarian and not really care. It can be significantly cheaper as well depending on how you plan it. Not to mention I feel more energetic without having to digest a huge portion of meat.

That’s my random post of the day. Hope you enjoyed. 😛

The last month I started doing what Dave Ramsey refers to as a Zero-Balance Based Budget. Every dollar gets a name. My bf does a lot of number crunching in Excel as part of his job. I do too but not nearly as much. A few months consecutively I’ve always had more month than money. I thought I had all the answers. There are some nasty habits I was getting into.

Amazon.com shopping – I love shopping on Amazon and get some really good deals. However some of my purchases were non-essential and I would spend $400-500 or so over the course of a month on things that were nice. Since July 24th I haven’t made any purchases on Amazon. 

Credit Card – I fell into the trap of thinking because it’s earning points I should put every single item I want to purchase on the card. The problem is it’s ridiculously easy to underestimate purchases and make a silly justification about the points. My Chase Freedom card gives me cashback (right now it’s 5% back on gas plus the always-on 1% offer). My big bills I’ll put on the card but small things like food, movie tickets, it’s not really saving me much.

So here is what I came up with for a two weeks budget:

So you may see the a/c is on there. We had company over the other weekend and they were complaining that it wasn’t getting cold enough inside. I was in denial for a bit, then decided to call in to report it. The technician came to the house while I was at work and replaced the capacitor in the unit. I came home and it was working fine. Did a double take on what he actually did to fix it. $275 and my bf game me $250 back. Could’ve been worse, had the compressor gone on the unit it would run over $3k.

Onto my budget, my $280 car payment is due the 14th of the month and I have $450 set aside in that account right now. Really loving the car right now, gets 30mpg in mixed driving and provides a nice sporty / cushy ride. Doing good on my grocery budget, can’t buy pistachios, walnuts, kale chips or anything like that at $7+ a pop but I manage pretty well without it. My credit card balance will be zero again after my next payment for the electricity / car fill-up. It was -$5 2 days ago and now $235 because of $158 utility bill, gasoline and some other small things.

Off to bed now, still working on the $1k emergency fund. I have it for 5 seconds then a bill comes up or I want to pay them down. Got a smaller raise than I hoped, but good feedback from my boss.

So as I mentioned in the last post, I now have an automobile loan. The current balance is 16,762.21 at 0% and the payments are 280/month. Next payment isn’t due until 8/14 which is almost a week after my 31^st birthday. As a proactive measure I am putting $75/week a separate savings account.

Cutting back my student loan payment of $1,000 / month to $720 / month. I may be getting a raise next month. Assuming I receive it, my estimate is $30 / week, $137 / month $1650 a year. So that and eating out less at work ($40/wk savings) I may not have to cut back on paying things down as much as I think.

Have some household expenses coming up over the next few months that we are not looking forward to.

• Plumbing work. The pipe running from house to the main line on the street has tree branches growing through it. This has resulted in sewage being backed up into our downstairs shower about 5 or 6 times now. We are working with a plumber to get it repaired who said the cost could run as high as $5k. He later mentioned the city would do the work for free. I e-mailed him asking him what I should tell them, went to the city and they basically said that the expense would fall on the homeowner. E-mailed my plumber back and am still waiting for an answer. Our downstairs shower also won’t get hot. It was working at one point, most likely due to a washer or bracket of some sort, but not any longer.
• Shower – Both bf and I want a new shower. The upstairs one has mold growing in the crevices, no matter how much we clean it. Also the tub is showing wear. No idea how old both are but my gut tells me at least 20 years. I’d guess around $10k for the job.
• Driveway – Roots pushing up on the driveway from the two trees in the front of the house. The driveway is sticking up a few inches. Have contacted the homeowners association for advice on both issues. They have been of very little assistance. Guess I shouldn’t expect a whole lot more for $99 / month. I expect this will run around $2k.
• Dining Room – Dining room table is shot, it’s at least 8 years old and has travelled across the country. We checked out some new furniture at Haverty’s & Freed’s Furniture. This will happen around Labor Day as the sales get more competitive.

So here is an update on the Sallie Mae situation. Making progress. Want to keep it going at the same rate I have been for the last year. Momentum is power. I think worst situation is it takes me an extra year to pay things off.

Our cruise trip was amazing. 7 days, got to experience Roatan, Honduras, Belize City and Cozumel Mexico. A much needed break from the 8:30-5:30 shift I was working on too little sleep, and self-imposted lack of taking breaks. Too much of that cycle just made me miserable with life in general. Didn’t have the energy to go workout, to socialize, to cook diner. Just ended up feeling like a slave to work. I realize we all have crises to deal with, but making time for yourself is essential.

Here are a couple of pictures. Before this, I never left the US and was afraid of travelling. Now I’m starting to fall in love with the experience, minus the stresses of flying or dealing with unforseen occurrances.

So let me start out this post by going to the recent past…When we first moved to the DFW area we were in temporary housing for a month. His employer paid for it and we weren’t really sure where we were going to be moving. Ultimately we chose a 3rd floor 2br/2ba apartment in a relatively happening part of town that was about $1300 a month.

About 11 months later we moved into a townhouse (where we are currently), with a 30 year mortgage in a very very quiet community. Most of the neighbors are retired or pretty close to it. The commute is about 10 miles from my job each way which is super reasonable. The mortgage is a 30 year and we put down much less than 20% through FHA program. Monthly mortgage payment is about $1000 which includes PMI and HOAs are 99/mo. Our closing amount was about $142k

A few days ago our realtor contacted us and said our home could sell for around $170k and she has two buyers. The place needs some work and there is usually some negotiation so I figure that number will be closer to 160. My fear is that if we stay here the cost of repairs will start to get high for a place we like but aren’t totally in love with. Still quite an improvement over the course of 2 years. Much to my surprise, bf wants to move own in size to a 2 bedroom slightly more south. The money used from the sale plus equity to date would go toward the 20% down on a different property and we would move from a  30 year to a 15 year mortgage.

A year ago he was looking at homes over $220k with much higher taxes but now looking at $150k and lower. Maybe my watching Suze Orman every week and telling him how much I want to be out of debt is starting to sink in? He also has been traveling a lot lately and doesn’t want to be house poor. Will see how this all pans out. Could be huge or things could fall through at the last minute.

Month 25 Update – $31,277. Really cooking with Crisco now. Can’t wait to be under $31k.

A lot of things have happened since my last posting:

• Boyfriend’s grandmother passed away. Had to make an emergency flight to New York. Thankfully he accrued enough Frequent Flyer miles on American Airlines to cover the trip with only $5 each out of pocket.
• Used über for the first time. $92 with a $10 discount, but paid for the convenience. Had no cash on me and used X which is the cheapest version of using the service. The driver was very professional and I missed out on a lot of the traffic associated with going from Laguardia to Nassau County. I wrote off the cost as my flight was ‘free’ and I was on my way to a funeral.
• Saw my best friend in NY after she has been diagnosed with a hyperactive thyroid. I worry about her and saw her at a time she was near her worst with recent weight loss. She is going through tough times between not being able to work, on disability / waiting on insurance to process paperwork and rising medical expenses. Luckily the people she is renting from have been very accommodating. I don’t know about her job though but one can hope. It’s a well-known company on Long Island and I think it’s illegal to fire someone who is temporarily on disability.
• Saw my mom on mother’s day, Albeit under less than ideal circumstances. She was happy to see me, even if it was only for two days.
• Visited father and aunt at cemetery. Aunt passed away in 1999 at 41 and father 2004 at 47. 14 1/2 and 10 years respectively. The older you get the faster time goes. He never knew me as a gay man, as a homeowner, as a Texas resident or a man old enough to drink alcohol. A third of my life has gone by since he died and almost half since my grandmother passed away. Hard to really put that into perspective. I feel alone at times but also remember there are people here now in the present who like me and look up to me.
• Finally got my passport. I waited till the last minute, thank god for the ‘Passport Holiday’ otherwise I’d still be in the doghouse.
• BF is thinking about getting a Lexus CT200h as his next vehicle. His parents have one and I thought it was a pretty nice mixture of style and fuel economy. If he gets one I would love to drive it (and not have to pay the car note).
• Starting to feel better. Still have a small cough that comes and goes but the crazy annoying bronchitis hacking is gone. I hope for good.
• Going to a wedding this week. Got a good deal on a rental through Costco. $61.53 for ~2 days and 7 hours on a ‘Standard Car’ out of Tampa. Also found out I can park at the airport for as little as $9 a day and a free shuttle ride. My flight and our hotel stay have been paid for $667.29. I really think we’re going to have a blast.

Long day today. Debating washing dishes and still have to walk dog so that’s it for now.

Still struggling with some health issues. Acute bronchitis is no joke. I also have sinusitis. On the following meds

• methylprednisone for bronchitis
• amoxicillin for sinusitis
• singulair for asthma / allergies

Spent a few hundred dollars combined this month on doctors visits, tests, medications, humidifier. Have been working from home a few days or leaving work early. The nagging cough is what gets me. Had an ah-ha moment with my boyfriend that I need to start listening to him more. Long story short is he was going to surprise me with something but my lack of action in getting something done (i.e. putting off passport for 6 months) basically put that all in jeopardy. While online at the Federal Building in Dallas I was thumbing through Tony Robbins – Great Steps book that I acquired some years ago. I looked at the part about the pain and pleasure principle. Sure what you’re avoiding now may bring you pleasure, but in the grand scheme of life many of these choices create more pain down the line. 

The food choices, skipping the gym, not saying yes to doing something that could be exciting, everyone’s story is different. When I don’t think and just break through that feeling 9/10 times I’m better off. The tendency toward laziness does not serve me in the end.

So what does this have to do about debt? I was thinking of ways to diffuse the anger toward me and was going to surprise him with a $1800 60″ HD TV and sound bar. Fortunately the model I wanted was out of stock at Amazon. I also didn’t think it would make him happy. Plus the tv I was looking at was about $500 cheaper in January. Why overpay? We also have a total of 3 sets in the house, each one works flawlessly.

This experience of mine gives me gratitude for one. I am thankful to have access to high quality medical care, and insurance where I have to pay a very small percentage for my treatment. The accessibility to medications that will help bring my body back to normal is another. The support system both at my job where people are encouraging me to take actions to feel better (granted they also don’t want to fall ill) is helpful over other companies I worked at where over 3 days of being out it would cut into vacation time. I don’t have pneuomnia and avoided an expensive trip to the ER. Some people with no money go to the ER and come out with a couple grand in medical bills.

I watched a video from Stefan Pylarinos (yeah he’s a stud) on The Best Advice I Could Ever Give. Makes me think about how many times I’ve bounced from one idea to the next or one author’s material to the next and never really followed through with some of the advice I read to get ahead in life. There are times when it makes sense to get multiple opinions and others where following one voice, one message is critical to success.

Since I’m a little stir crazy not being able to workout I bought myself one of those workout balls and pushup bars. I find myself doing more exercises on the ball for my core muscles in a day than I would do some weeks.

This month I’m focusing less on money and more on having rich experiences in life. DJ EZ-Rock died earlier today. He was 46. My father was 47 when he died. Some people achieve to be happy and find that they get the car, the house, the relationship, the family, the whatever and aren’t fulfilled. I think finding happy moments along the way regardless of the obstacle is the only way to truly win at life. 🙂 Posting this blog after midnight, off to get some shuteye now.